The Project Gutenberg EBook of Folhas Soltas, by Alberto Dias Guimares

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Title: Folhas Soltas

Author: Alberto Dias Guimares

Release Date: March 18, 2010 [EBook #31695]

Language: Portuguese

Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1

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                        ALBERTO DIAS GUIMARES

                             FOLHAS SOLTAS



                        Sorrir  bom quando se tem ventura
                        ou quando, ao menos, feiticeira esp'rana;
                        arfa a existencia em mares de bonana,
                        rompe a alvorada sempre amena e pura.

                                               THOMAS RIBEIRO



                                  LISBOA
                TYPOGRAPHIA DA EMPREZA EDITORA O RECREIO
                     Rua do Marechal Saldanha, 59 e 61
                                   1894




                       ARGINE:

            Meiga rolinha de encantadas selvas
            Como me encanta o teu gentil cantar!
            Por ti perdera a mocidade, a vida...
            _--Mas eu no posso, no te devo amar.--_




A

E. A. N.


        A ti, virgem pura e casta;
        Offereo os cantos meus;
        Se queres pagar-m'os, basta...
        Um s olhar d'esses teus.

A palpitar de amor, dedico-te estas paginas delineadas nos curtos ocios
das minhas lides escolares...

Com ellas entrego-te as impresses dos meus vinte annos.

 bem triste este mimo, acceita-o... Estas flres sem cultura... sero,
nas tuas mos carinhosas... to bellas e perfumadas como se a brisa
olente as bafejra.


Lisboa, 23-10-94

                                                            O AUCTOR...

      *      *      *      *      *




        Le travail, c'est le pre du plaisir.
                                VOLTAIRE.


O trabalho  companheiro afavel, dce, puro... voto-lhe o pensamento, os
risos, a ternura, as vozes da amizade, os canticos do amor. Por isso,
quando a mo cruel do soffrimento me afflige sem ter d, no deixo,
quebrantado, o trabalho... porque para mim tem condo.

 o meu consolo, o meu refugio, o bordo florido, regado com as lagrimas
ardentes do desespero.

      *      *      *      *      *




        Loucura ou sonho? mas eu creio e sinto,
        Soffro, resisto, sem allivio ter;
        Sou como o lyrio sem orvalho, extincto,
        --Se o amor  morte, quererei morrer--


Se eu fosse inspirado por Apollo, s assim cantaria meus desgostos; se
podesse banhar-me na fonte de Aganipe, mui feliz seria... pois, escripto
deixava quanto minha alma  triste como o pobre naufrago; como a voz do
sino, carpindo o funeral de um morto; triste como  a rosa quando com o
zephyro se vae desfolhando; triste como a chorosa me ao dizer adeus ao
estremecido filho... Minha alma  triste, como a ave que do ninho vae
arrebatada; triste, como a saudade, que sendo bella,  a mais triste flr!

Replecto de prazer, sentia a alma expandir-se fremente, jubilosa; dentro
do meu craneo, agitava-se bem risonha a esperana formosa; tudo... para
mim... era canto, amor e poesia; tudo era bello e gentil! Sentia uns
fulgidos clares e antevia deslumbradora aurora. Chimera v!

Agora... punge-me o corao um presentimento cruel; vem-me enluctar o
pensamento... uma recordao do passado e, nos braos de atroz angustia,
fico mergulhado em ardentes lagrimas.

A juventude foge-nos to veloz qual pluma ao vento... A illuso vem com
risos, mas no apaga as verdades amargas. Tudo passa! Tudo morre!

Felizes? Jmais! Do homem  unico e vario o fado; na terra s temos por
descano a sepultura.

      *      *      *      *      *




        Porque hei-de preferir o riso ao pranto?
        Porque choro? porque scismo? Dr sem fim!
        Hei-de deixar succumbir a esperana?


A phantasia, borboleta errante, em torno  chamma... sem cessar esvoaa.
A illuso passa e ella... ferida!... despenha-se na voragem. Ah! loucos
sonhos que a razo desmente! Pairar nos cos... para, no fundo abysmo,
baqueiar apoz! Immensa irriso! Via o mundo qual vergel de luz, encanto
e fraternaes carinhos... Sonhei venturas, porm, a sorte quiz partir o
prisma que em falso brilho me occultava agrres. J no me alenta a
esperana da suspirada calmaria que a paz me deixe entrever. Minha alma
glida e o meu ser, habitam n'um tantalo tormentoso de dres! Sem
esperana, sem conforto! O idylio foi-se... Vejo a dr surgir sempre
crescente.

 to triste esta existencia sem uma luz que a conforte... Vida! vida!
Miseravel gro de poeira immunda... tantos dissabores me has dado!... O
prazer, o jubilo, os risos, a aurora... tudo pura fico! O sol da
madrugada no dura todo o dia.

Para soffrer nasci; abrao a minha cruz; busco o tormento... No devo
extranhar os espinhos da desdita. Quem foge  sua sorte? Oh! Deus...
concedei-me um raio de esperana e talvez volte a ser feliz.

      *      *      *      *      *




        A minha voz no canta, hoje s suspira e geme.

        Os desenganos s deixaram florir humildes violetas, no meu pobre
        jardim; offereo-t'as, donzella... So nascidas no canteiro,
        regado de lagrimas... no meu corao.


Que importa que o dever, o preconceito impiedoso prohiba de adorar-te?
Oh! sim... sim... na mente sempre hei-de guardar tua imagem ridente e
bella. s mais formosa que as estrellas, os lyrios, as alvas aucenas e
a singela violeta. Estrella da manh, mystica rosa, teu candido sorriso
tem suave expresso... Oh!... d-me um raio de luz, viso fagueira. A
tua voz tem da sereia o fementido encanto; d'uma harpa olea faz lembrar
o som; quem pde ouvir-te e no sentir a dce calma dos ldos dias,
desapparecer, fugir? Tens um atractivo infindo, uma fragancia que s
pertence  rosa. Meiga, ideal, bemdita... guarda-me no peito.
Encantadora, angelica, sublime... ao vr-te sinto o meu espirito
enlevar-se s ethereas regies, transpor o firmamento... Collo
formosissimo! arquejante... Olhos pretos, scintillando como o fulgor da
estrella vespertina; n'elles descubro a doura dos typos ideaes da
Andaluzia... Olhos de um olhar to fundo! olhos que fixam, fallam e
impem! Sempre viva, irrequieta, graciosa... Elegante e esbelta! Quem me
dera repousar no quente arfar do teu querido seio...

Feio de cherubim, corao de pomba! s toda primor e esmero; s qual
fulgente estrella. A luz do teu olhar... deslumbra offusca, enlouquece.
Brilhante e seductora, mixto de sombra e luz, de lava e gelo, de eden
occulto e precipicio aberto... prendes, fascinas, attrahes, arrebatas.
Vr-te e no sentir abrazar o peito,  s proprio de quem do amor 
renegado.

      *      *      *      *      *




        No te mereo. O meu amor enlucta. No sejas vencida pela illuso.

        Mas... se o teu olhar me reanima, se s a minha esperana
        querida... hei-de perder-te?

        Oh! no, no... mil vezes no.


Quizera ser poeta, um eximio trovador, para cantar-te em endeixas das
mais bellas; minha estrella, candida flr de neve, quizera ter de Rubens
o pincel immorredouro para pintar a tua immagem bella; quizera ter de
Tasso a lyra que o inspirou para cantar tua formosura... Mas do tudo
careo; em vez da inspirao, apenas pobres phrases voam ao tom das
rajadas da indifferena. Quem me dera engenho e arte com que cantar: o
teu olhar divino; o teu collo moldado em candido alabastro; cantar: teu
corpo e a sua esplendida esculptura; teus labios, abenoado porto, onde
viriam soluar as vagas de meus beijos... Acceita ao menos, meus pobres
queixumes; lyrios dispersos... sem valor algum!

.........................................................................

Era a vida, miragem seductora em quadros divinaes; era um sonho, um
encanto, um rir... Agora sinto n'alma o desalento... tudo fugiu
sorrindo... meus amores fenecem. Ephemera, bem ephemera foi minha
felicidade; onde borboleteavam as mais douradas chimeras, ha sinceras
desilluses; onde vicejava a flr azul da esperana, medra o cardo do
desengano; onde conheci sonhos de felicidade, vejo phantasias desfeitas.
Sinto apenas a lethal serpente, a duvida, enroscar-se na minha alma.
Hei-de orar? Hei-de crr?

      *      *      *      *      *




        Sou como a barca que ao largo perdeu o rumo. Existirei? Se
        existisse havia de quebrar a atroz melancholia que sinto
        aniquilar meu pobre corao.


To be or not to be! Ser ou no ser! O que me esconde esse dilema cruel!
Ter constantemente espinhos a cravarem-se n'alma embrutecida e presa!
Ser ou no ser feliz! Fatal problema! Debalde tento cantar gloria, vida,
sorrisos de amor... Uma angustia profunda me prime o peito; vejo
passarem os dias sem ter lenitivo, sem gosar calma! Cruel martyrio!

A vida  sonho dourado de illuses! sempre sonhar... do bero  campa, 
tudo um sonho. Que fadiga atormentadora! Espinhos acerados em toda a
rosa, fel em todos os amores. Na minha alma s vejo a bruma da tristeza;
nem sei a causa do pallido desgosto que sinto sem cessar! Quaes ruinas
de castello ogival, assim jazem na minha mente as dces alegrias do meu
primeiro amor. Amor! amor! Inferno para uns... para outros um co
aberto. Enygma eterno, eterna sphinge. Florida estrada, que uns leva 
gloria... ou senda de medonho precipio. s tudo e no s nada. s v
chimera e realidade. Ou perdes ou salvas; s vida, seno morte.

      *      *      *      *      *




        Minha alma que um teu sorrir seduz, que um teu olhar inflamma...
        enleva-se, cae e perde-se no disco d'esse brilho, no lume
        d'esse fogo.


Anjo formoso, flr celeste, candido jasmim... Como poderias encher de
luz e esperana a minha vida! perfumar os dias da minha mocidade! Debil
como o lyrio cujas folhas transparentes tremem ao mais leve sopro da
virao; teus olhos brilhantes dizem mil promessas, teem celestiaes
encantos.... Como encherias a minha vida de supremas alegrias e dces
sorrisos! Sorrisos! Os teus so mais dces que a luz da manh, seguem-me
sempre, derramam em minha alma... mil benos do co. Nas longas noites
de febre, quando a mente enfraquece...  a ti, anjo bemdito,  a ti que
eu peo sorrisos e olhares.

Nos sonhos ridentes, que a mente povoa de ideias de amor, vejo-te,
linda, nas... ondas do mar, nas petalas da rosa. Vejo-te e no meu peito
palpita, em ancias; pullula o corao. Figura celeste, por ti eu deliro;
meu peito anceia de dr... vem acalmal-o n'um sonho amoroso... ento...
cercar-me-ha ignota harmonia e o maior encanto.

s qual flr que n'um vergel divino, com garbo ostenta purpurina cr; s
um anjo que baixou  terra; s qual estrella, que, na noite escura,
raiou formosa de brilhante luz; s como um astro que nos cos reside...
Fanal de esperanas, no qual contemplo... viso, miragem... ideal sem
par!

      *      *      *      *      *




        O que ouo, mudo e triste, n'esse languido olhar... revelar,
        pelo menos, amizade?


Bella como a flr da serrania, radiosa como a estrella matutina. Teu
riso alenta meu canado engenho. No sei se  pasmo ou loucura o que
sinto ao divisar-te; to grande  a expresso que tens na voz, no olhar,
no gesto e no sorrir! Ao vr, de teus olhos, os raios to ardentes...
nascem-me, no peito, frementes anhelos. Um breve sorriso de teus
labios... faz-me delirante de amor. No sei o que sinta n'alma ao vr
tuas faces bellas...  ancia,  febre. Sinto-me preso d'um terno
delirio, ouvindo teu fallar sonoro e fagueiro... Era ao sol posto,
quando me deste um riso; n'elle colhi um perennal sentir... Quiz
fugir-te... senti-me preso a ti. Em troca... offereci-te rosas. Dar uma
rosa parece nada ser... porm... com as que te dei... foi juncto o meu
pensamento!

Tudo em ti diz poesia e as auras beijam-te a fronte assetinada, pura
como a innocencia, pura como os beijos de minha santa me.

Nos momentos de angustia, quando no espao olympico, fluctua a rainha da
noite... parece-me vr n'ella a tua imagem seductora e sbe-me  cabea
a ida de apertar-te fervorosamente em meus braos... porm... de
repente desfaz-se o encanto e volta de novo o pranto a deslisar pelas
minhas faces.

Ah! se o que sentimos n'alma s nos pertence; se a doirada calma dos
mesmos risos ambos ns sonhar-mos; se  a mesma a nossa estrella, o
nosso norte... ento... aberto  o cu... amemo-nos!

      *      *      *      *      *




        Foste a palmeira frondosa a cuja sombra cahi; foste a fonte
        serena onde minha alma exhaurida cobrou alguma esperana.


Ah! porque tarde me brilhaste, estrella mimosa e bella, que ante mim
surgiste? Teu senhoril futuro, o teu porvir  de gloria e risos; os meus
sorrisos so gemidos! Soffro martyrios sem que jmais ouse testemunhar a
alguem... o meu pezar. Um desalento horrivel me aniquilla a vida; busco
suffocar os meus ais no peito... oh!... bem forado  o meu rir d'agora.
Cedo me luziu, no raiar da vida, a luz do meu cu d'amores... Lamento
agora a illuso! Oh! sonho meu desfeito! Oh! mocidade.... Ha quem te
exalte as douras e te compare  madrugada! Tens encantos que seduzem,
bellos sonhos, graa, amor... mas tudo passa to breve!... , quando
nasce o sol e vens enfeitada como abril, ... ento que os sorrisos mais
nos fogem... s uma cadeia de dres!

Minha alma  triste! Amo a noite e a pallidez da lua, amo os queixumes
da fonte, os perfumes das flres, o triste lamento da agoureira ave.
Sinto a dce calma na paz da sollido e vivo do sonhar dos sonhos
d'alma;  bom rever o cu d'amor;  bom sorrir ao som de uma harmonia!
Librei-me sobre a aza da ave da illuso... mas tombei da esphera ideal e
bemdicta, para... debalde, buscar a paz na solitude. Perdeu-se o
prenuncio da aurora! J em meu peito no sinto o iris de bonana!

      *      *      *      *      *




        O amor nasce no peito e acaba no infinito.


Quando contemplo o brilho ethereo da lua... a minha alma dilatada,
volita pelos espaos... como ave partindo os ns a que estava
agrilhoada! Livre, na sua expanso, aspira a opalina luz e interroga a
si propria porque vigor mysterioso e porque occulto poder, vem to dce
effluvio avivar o teu olhar? Como pde em tom queixoso, tua voz dce...
gemer e ter vibraes taes que me causam alegria? Como, no olhar
resumes... delirio, ardencia, paixo? Se  bello vr-se a nympha
crystallina, entre as flres, de manso sussurando; e as aves, a gorgear,
embaladas pela brisa da manh; se  bello vr os raios da lucina; se 
bello vr-se o mar... dce, queixoso... beijar a fulva praia com
brandura... ainda mais bello  vr-se o sorriso em teus labios...
gracioso, qual a voz d'uma meiga lyra!

........................................................................

s toda a minha ida... meus suspiros, meus tristes ais... a ti mando a
cada instante.

Se no desabrochar dos vinte annos, ha muita esperana formosa, muita
aspirao elevada... ha tambem muita tristeza, muita dr amarga, muito
desgosto profundo. At hoje, vi o raiar luminoso da manh da vida, a
aurora rosea de uma existencia que desponta... pelas douradas cres do
prisma da illuso;... para mim, o bosque, o marulhar das vagas... tinham
sempre harmonias; o canto das aves era replecto de amor; o cardo, o
espinho, os goivos e os martyrios... eram rosas e jasmins... tinham mais
perfume que o nardo. Ora tudo  escuro, soturno e triste; na minha vida
houve luz, mas foi fugaz... como um meteoro... brilhou para bem prestes
se apagar!

      *      *      *      *      *




        O tempo no consome o que, pelo amor,  inscripto no peito!


Falla! quero escutar a musica sonora d'essas fallas gentis, trementes,
captivantes, que desprendem teus labios, a rir... esses labios mais
frescos e mais limpidos que o luar. Sorri! quero ouvir teus risos
festivaes, travessos... em ondinas febris de beijos incessantes...
soarem em tua bocca alegre. Fita-me! quero vr, n'esse ideal encanto...
essa luz expludir suave... n'um sorriso do cu. Deixa-me banhar a alma
na essencia que evaporas; deixa-me ouvir tua voz melodiosa; quero a flr
do teu riso, quero a luz do teu olhar.

A alma vae-me, em delirio, pelos plainos celestes... desfolhando-te
psalmos, seguindo entre o bando das chimeras... Apoz o devaneio, pousa
entre arminhos... na paz do teu peito.

Se me repudias!... oh! ento... no mais te fixarei amorosamente; no
mais, oh! brilhantissimo astro, eu procurarei vr-te; no mais fitarei
teu rosto, que encantos mil encerra.

Resta-me a esperana de ser indigno do teu despreso! Rogo-te, soluando,
no olvides o teu humilde cantor.

        La vie par elle-mme est courte, mais
        Le malheur l'allonge.
                                   (P. SIRUS.)

      *      *      *      *      *




        Tout un ciel est dans une goutte de rose.
        Toute une me est dans une larme.
                                           (ROUX.)






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